face the self who said you cannot do it

Ever since life started in NUS, or rather the architecture department, I can feel myself drifting away from many many things. Because of the hectic schedules and commitments coming from all corners, I've stopped meeting many friends and many activities I usually do prior to life in NUS. I thought i could start everything anew and finally get a hold of myself. This is the third year now, and it seems as though I've achieved nothing much. Perhaps I've made a few new friends and gained some new and valuable experiences, but I'm losing the much of myself in return for these things.

This is something perhaps many of us are experiencing now, and yet we are either too busy to think about it or want to believe that there are better things to come. We will try to sink ourselves into the loads of activities happening around us, regardless if its work, friends, social activities whatever you can name it. We tend to believe that these are the things that make life, life. Its seems as though your life revolves around people around you, but why not the other way round?

I've started to do certain things I used to do and liked to do previously, and it feels really good doing so. For instance, I'm sitting down now thinking to myself about many things that have happened. I used to like to sit back and wonder whats the purpose of me doing here. Why are certain things this way instead of that. The only difference today is, i get to type out my thoughts on this blog.

Its puzzling but it feels good to take a step back from the crazily active world we live in today and enjoy the feeling of watching things past by and try to understand them instead of just be like one of them. When you take a step back and look at the world we live in , you'll realised many things. They are things not new to you but somehow, we don't really pay much attention to it. How people get happy, sad, cheated, surprised, loved and hated..all the emotional and physical aspects of life suddenly raced across you so quickly just like TV dramas. Its then you realised that it takes so much more to be involved in this ever changing complicated world. You will also realise you are nothing but an insignificant dot among the many other dots around you. You'll feel humbled, your ego level drops, the things you've once achieved are seemingly not even worth mentioned as insignificant. For me, its not a bad thing as when you bring yourself down to that level, the bad things that happened to you before are also seemingly becoming just as insignificant. Everything for a moment, seems to have been reset to the original status. You'll then feel that a new chance is given and new hope arises.

What I am trying to drive at here my friends, is to remind you that sometimes, we have to press the pause or reset button to take a break. Like what one of my friends mentioned, run away to a land far far away where there's nobody, cause that's where and when everything stops for you instead of you stopping for others. Find time to be with yourself. We have problems and obstacles every now and then and I'm not trying to tell you to escape from them but rather, you take a step back, away from them so that you can face them. We always have times that we think we cannot achieve or overcome certain things, but isn't it because we couldn't accomplish them that we are trying all over again. Whats left in life when there is no new challenges ahead? Don't be afraid to take that step, don't be disappointed if things don't turn out well cos failures like achievements are just as insignificant. I seem to be talking about 2 different things among the loads of rubbish I've crapped above. But that's because taking a step back does more than one thing to you.

'Face the self who said you cannot do it' This was a phrase I've came acrossed and come to learn today and made me wrote this tok cok session number 2. Best of all, I'm writing this during my studio session which i'm skipping for the day....haha....see what I mean by taking a break? :P '

k, I'm going off to town now to continue my break. Don't take my tok cok session so seriously that you think you'll see a totally new Chee Wee the next time you see me k? :P

cruise control...hopefully

Today marks the end of a series of major group projects that I've been doing since the beginning of this semester. Although there are many occasions that we will experience working in groups when we proceed to our working life in the real world, group work during in school doesn't necessarily mean it will help us in learning all the right traits to handle such situations in future. In school, there are always many problems and issues we face when working in groups. Whether if its difficulty in syncronizing our schedules, or is it just your plain bad luck in getting 'free riders' as your group mates, it always get on your nerves when things just don't go as planned. When you start to work, you'll probably be working with people from the same company, and schedules are likely to be easily syncronized. For that, you have one less problem to worry about. As for those slackers, well.... I always believe that some day, somehow, they will get what they deserve. Ok, that's just my perception and probably my compliants about working in groups.

Well lately, certain random thoughts of life just hint upon me. Guyz out there who knows about computer hardwares and its fluctuating prices will surely come across a time where you hold back your money in your pocket before splashing it on some gadget when 2 years down the road, they become obsolete and worthless. Like I've told many of my friends, if you believe that the price will drop in 3 months and you can steal a better deal, that's a big mistake. Simply because by that time, with the same amount of cash, you can purchase something that's of a newer technology. So does that mean you're going to wait for another 3 months? I always believe that when you have the ability to buy that particular object, you should buy it and don't look back. I'm sure the feeling of retail therapy more or less will satisfy you more than if you hold back and wait for another 3 months. There are always better and cheaper options somewhere somehow, but you won't happen to chance upon them all the time, even if you try really hard searching for it. Moreover, you might not have the money to buy that item in 3 months time as you might have splurged the money on some other things that are of less significance.

So why am I talking about this? Well, if you relate this to making decisions in life, its pretty much the same. Sometimes, you shouldn't ponder to much when making choices as the more you think, the more complicated things get. Moreover, time waits for no man. That's the lesson that I'm trying to draw from the 'buy what u like when you can' analogy. Like what Forest Gump said, ' Life is like a box of chocolate, you'll never know what you're going to get.' Indeed, you'll probably not know what's going to happen most of the time after making certain decisions in life. Still, if you think that it will make you happier by making this decision over the other, you shouldn't be bothered too much by other factors.

Ultimately, decisions you make should be one that leads to the most favourable outcome for yourself, or rather one that you'll feel good after making that decision. You have to be a little bit selfish sometimes in order to gain that happiness in life. Sounds really selfish and evil but well, don't apply it when you'll end up hurting or getting someone in trouble. Maybe everyone should adopt this mentality and we will not complain about our lives. So maybe we should think before we even make any complaints above how drastic our lives have turned to lately (applicable for aki students only :P), and ask ourselves, why did we choose this profession in the 1st place? Yes I know its only human nature for us to complain about life, and I'm one super complain king as well. But I guess, its probably time to take life on a different perspective, and start making decisions that you know you will find happiness instead of drudgery. After all, we only have a lifetime to live, so make the best out of it.

I still think I'll continue to complain though...:P

*end of tok cok session 1*